My Calendar of Blessings 2010

If I have to choose my best year ever in my life, 2010 really made my life! I started my 2010 right and with God through a 7-day Prayer and Fasting @ Victory Christian Fellowship-Pioneer. I listed my prayer requests confidently, claiming that God will work mightily with those things.

It was never been an easy road as I continuously walk my journey for 2010. I encountered a lot of challenges that really measured my faith. But God is enough for me to fight those big events in my life. I was indeed grateful everytime God answers every little prayer that I have in me, maybe not as fast as I what I want, but surely His timing is perfect and He knows what to give in His own proper time.

January-April 2010-- my last days as a Senior Nursing Student, I included this in my prayer list because Nursing Audit wasn't an ordinary subject for me! It defined my life, my career, my future! And as for me who had received a grade of 72.1 for my midterm grade, (despite and inspite of reading my lectures, reviewing my notes and all!) God's grace made it possible for me to pass my Preboard Exam and blessed to be one of the 29 students to take the July Nursing Licensure Examination out of 96 graduates. That was really an answered prayer for me! :)) On 16th of March, we had our Clinical Graduation and on 6th of April, I had received my diploma for my Bachelor's Degree. A Certified Degree Holder through Him and for Him alone. :)

April-June 2010-- His grace is sufficient for me! I started to have my less than 3-months Nursing Review in preparation for the upcoming July NLE 2010. It was another journey, another task, an assignment to make known of His name. From the very beginning, I ask God to be with me during my review because if it was all me, I won't be able to overcome my everyday life during the review. It was hard. I cried a lot telling God that I can't do it alone. And yes, He never leave me, He never even forsake me. "I will make your name great."

July 2010-- On the 3rd and 4th of July, I took my Nursing Licensure Examination with Him. "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding, in all His ways acknowledge Him and He will make your path straight."

August 2010-- On 27th of August, I did not make it! God made it for me to pass my Board Exam. To God be all the glory!

September 2010-- On the 13th of September, I started working as a Volunteer Nurse at Tanay General Hospital.

November 2010-- On the 30th of November, I celebrated my birthday with a twist. :) Being one of the four volunteers, I was chosen to be one of the trainees for a 5-week Dialysis Training, all for free, with a weekly allowance (inclusive of foods and transportation), a convinient condo unit (onwed by the hospital), plus my three senior nurses with me! It was an overflowing blessing for me! God sees,God knows, God bless :))

December 2010-- our stay at East Ave. Medical Center, Dialysis Center. I have learned a lot of things, and thankful for letting God's plan happened in my life, I did not plan, I let God work, I trusted, and look at me, hey! I am more than expectant for my 2011, because I know, God stayed with me in my 2010, and He will stay for the rest of my life!

And Yes Lord, these were just part of the my whole 2010, HIGLIGHTS!!:)) Thank You for showing me HOW GREAT YOU ARE! And for that, I know at some point, I DID MAKE YOUR NAME GREAT! TO GOD ALL BE THE GLORY!!!

Goodbye 2010, I enjoyed a lot! Hello 2011, I know we will have a good time together!^^
--LEN:))

Certified SMP ka ba?

SMP. Samahan ng Malalamig ang Pasko. Mabenta tong lines na toh from a certain commercial on TV. Aba kailan ba naging mainit ang pasko? Summer na ba ang Christmas ngayo? E makapag-two piece pala kung ganon. Haha.


Christmas is all about Jesus. Ano namang kinalaman ng init at lamig sa pasko? Siguro nga kasi its on how people think, na minsan nakakalimutan na nila ang true meaning ng Christmas. Minsan nga ang Pasko wala na lang sa mga tao. They consider it as a regular holiday, or worst is an ordinary day. Sana maisip ng mga tao kung bakit may pasko. At maisip din ng lahat na kung hindi ipinanganak si Jesus, e hindi tayo masesave sa mga kasalanan natin. Sounds weird? TOTOO YUN.


Ang nakakaloka pa, big deal sa mga tao kung committed ka or hindi lalo na daw ngayong magpapasko. Nilipat na din ba ang Valentine's Day ng December? Sabay na ba ng Pasko? hahaha! Oh talagang nagsusuktan lang ng init at lamig ang mga tao with their partners in life? Aba! Kelan pa naging blanket yang mga karelasyon nyo at napapainit nila ang pasko nyo? Haha. Pambihira!


Pero to be honest, isa ako sa mga nabiktima ng idea na magboyfriend before Christmas. Im not saying naman na para uminit ang Pasko ko e gagawin kong blanket yun taong gusto ko. Ang akin lang napaisip lang din ako na ano nga kaya magpalit na ako ng status, from single to in a relationship. Kung ganon man, nagkataon lang din siguro na ngayong magpapasko ako napaisip kung papayag na ba ako na magpaligaw with this friend of mine. Sobrang lagi kong tinatanong ang Lord kung tama ba tong gagawin ko, kung tama na ba na magdesisyon ako. Im not in a hurry, never ko namang ni-rush na mainlove. E ako pa ba magrarush e NBSB nga ako. di ba may point ako? Haha. Nakapaghintay nga ako ng 21 years na walang boyfriend, nakuha ko pa ang license ko as a NURSE nang hindi nagcocommit, so I can prove to myself na God giave me this ability to patiently wait for the right time.


Let just see kung anong mangyayari, after kong sabihin sa Nanay ko na gusto pumunta nitong kaibigan ko sa bahay namin para magpaalam na liligawan ako, at pagkatapos sabihin ng Nanay ko sa Tatay ko na I have this someone nga na willing sila kausapin, tignan na lang natin. Kung nahihirapan sya na papayagin akong ligawan nya, magiging madali ba kapag inuna nyang ligawan ang mga magulang ko? Hahaha! LET'S SEE! :))


Pwede namang simulan ng tama di ba? E di ligawan mo parents ko, para makuha mo ang matamis kong OO! haha! :))

MY TREASURE

Bigla na lang pumasok sa isip ko na ang laki ng pasasalamat ko sa LORD with this life of mine. Sa maraming aspeto sobrang nagpapasalamat ako, sa lahat ng bahagi ng buhay ko. Akala ko hindi ako darating sa ganitong point ng buhay ko. Simula ng isurrender ko lahat sa Lord ang buhay ko, as in wala akong itinira, we patienlty worked for everything. And I believe this life of mine is a long long process and God is still at work in me.

Isa sa mga ipinasasalamat ko ay ang pagkakaroon ko ng mga kaibigan. Hindi lang basta matawag na kaibigan. As in kaibigan, trusted friends. Mga kaibigan ko na simula noon hindi ako inwan, simula noon pinapasaya na talaga ako. Hinding hindi ako nagkamali sa pagpili sa kanila bilang mga kaibigan ko. Hindi naman din sila perfect just like me. Swak nga yung mga kahinaan namin. Nagtutulungan, nag-iintindihan.

Siguro may mga time na hindi kami nagkakaintindihan. Bahagi yun ng samahan, para patuloy na maging matatag. Ang nakakatuwa, God keeps us together, sya yung nagbind sa amin. Minsan nga napapaisip ako kung bakit ang dami nila na pinagkwekwentuhan ko ng buhay ko. Narealized ko, God made me this way, madaling mag-open up, madaling magshare ng stories kasi marami silang ibinigay ng Lord sa akin para pagkatiwalaan ko.

Si Jecai at si Jhave, silang dalawa yung I consider more than a friend. As in nagpapasalamat ako for having them both. Hindi sila nagsawa makinig sa mga kwento ko, kahit pailut-ulit. Lalo ngayon na hindi na kami nagkikita, namimiss ko na yung mga unending kwento at chika namin. Yan yang dalawang yan kahit anong sabihin tinatanggap ko, maganda man o pangit. ayun yung mga totoong kaibigan, sasabihin sayo yung mga mali hindi lang yung mga tama mong ginagawa. Kaya mahal na mahal ko yang dalawang yan.

Si Liet, Si Ite, Si Cherry, Si Ching. Yang apat na yan ay mga kabigan ko nung hayskul, kaming apat ang nagpatuloy na lumakas kasama ang Lord. Nagpatuloy kami magtiwala sa mga kayang gawin ng Lord sa buhay namin. They are my friends, my sisters in Christ. Ang laki ng saya ko pag naiisip ko na meron akong kaibigan na kagaya nila, anytime pede mo puntaha, kausapin or kahit ano. Sobrang yung salitang KAIBIGAN, sila yung magbibigay ng kahulugan. I love them so much.

Si Jamie, marami kaming kwento nito. Kahit na magkapitbahay lang kami, sobrang andami namin palaging kwento siguro kasi hindi nmn kmi araw2 nagkikita. Kaya kapag nagkikita kami naiipon yung mga kwento. Natutuwa ako sa kanya kasi hindi sya nahihiya na aminin na mahina sya, na tao lang sya na ang LORD lang ang mkpagpapalakas sa kanya. Siguro sa harap ng mga classmate nya, she's someone na mataray, matapang, masungit, taklesa.. and so on. Yes she is. Pero may part din sa puso nya na gusto nya talaga magbago, na gusto nya makita ng tao na may LORD sya sa buhay nya. Sobrang naappreciate ko yung humility nya, na kahit mapride sya, at nahihirapan sya magbago, tinitiis nya, just to give glory to HIS NAME. Hindi ako magsasawang makipagkwentuhan sayo Jamie:)

Si Joan, hindi na kami nagkikita nito, sobrang namimiss ko na tong taong toh. I look up this girl so much. Kaya nga lagi nya ako nireremind na taong pa din sya, na darating yun time madidisappoint nya ako, kaya dapat sa LORD ako magfocus, para walang disappointments. Naamaze lang ako sa pagseserve nya sa LORD. Nakakainspire. Sobraaa. At yung mga payo nya, yung mga salita nya, filled with Holy Spirit talaga, pumipitik pitik. hahaha. Gustong gusto ko pag pinapagalitan nya ako, pag sinasabi nya namali ako. Natutuwa ako kasi there's someone na matiyaga na ituwid yung mga pagkakamali ko. Hayyy. I miss this girl.

Si Reah fe, ang napaka attentive kong kaibigan. Palagi din syang ready to listen sa mga stories ko, kaya nga lab na lab ko yan e. Hindi nagsasawa makinig sa mga kwento ko, napakabait na bata. Fan na fan ko yan sa love stories ko na wala naman kwenta yun pinaguusapan namin. hahhaha puro crush ko lang. hehehe. at saka pala ung pag-ibig nya. Ay. nakakamiss,

Si Inday, malaki din ang naging part nya s abuhay ko. She's someone I can lean on. Anytime pede ko itxt, makausap, puntahan sa bahay nila, sa trabaho. Sya yun taong alam mo na hindi ka iiwan, na kaibigan talaga ang tingin sayo. May pinagsasamahan, alam mo yun, kahit napakadaming kaibigan, alam mo may babalikan ka talagang isa. Ayyy. Thanks inday!:))

ILAN PA LANG SILA SA MGA KAIBIGAN KO NA SOBRANG MAHAL NA MAHAL KO, NOT TO MENTION MY DBARKADS, ZHEI, BIANCA, LAARNI. MY RTU-CC FRIENDS, CELICA AND JULIE, EDRICH AND BOB.. YAN ANG MGA TAONG KASAMA KO SA CHRISTIAN WALK KO AT SA BUAHY KONG PUNO NG KWENTO.

SO LET US LEARN TO TREASURE OUR FRIENDS. AND LET US BE A GOOD FRIEND TO EVERYONE. I LOVE YOU GUYS! GOD KNOWS THAT. GODBLESS!

SPILL IT OUT

So many words, so many thoughts
All cluttered in my mind.
I don't know how to say it all
But grateful to have my Savior, for me to call.

Not so struggled, for I know God allowed it to happen
As the Bible say, "All things work together for good for those who love Him"
So I will keep on trusting and praising His name
For there is none like Him who will love me the same.

God is enough, and he will forever be.
People may disappoint me,
But my God will remain faithful to me.
Loving the imperfect me, so dearly.

As I walk this Christian path,
Things will remain uncertain to my sight.
Indeed thankful for I live not by my sight
But through my faith, I will fight.

I will keep it on, keeping it on...
For He is my rock that I can lean on.
Thru good times and bad times
God's light in my life will forever shine.



-Len

OUTSPOKEN ME

Yes, si Len outspoken. Lahat ng gustong sabihin, sasabihin. Pero syempre nag-iingat din ako sa mga sinasabi ko, SPEAK LIFE :) Powerful kasi yun dila natin. Ayan ay isa sa mga natutunan ko.

Minsan na akong naging hindi maingat sa mga sinasabi, kung bakit nangyari yun e Lord na lang ang nakakaalam. May plano sya e. Ang maganda I can clearly see how He moves in me. And that thing amazed me a lot. Ayaw ko nang tanungin ang Lord kung bakit nangyayari ang mga bagay-bagay, hindi naman nya kasi papahintulutan without His plans on His mind. I will just be grateful, good or bad.

I remember a text message that I received several days after Valentine's day just this year. It goes like this, "What did you do last time that you did for the first time?" I replied to my friend with "Going out with someone I used to like, whom I never thought would dare to ask me out".

Let me explain. Hindi naman ako basta sumama, nag-isip din ako at kumunsulta sa mga kinauukulan kung tama ba na sumama ako sa kaibigan na yon, ok lets call him Dee. Ang sobrang pagkakamali ko lang, hindi ako nagsabi sa parents ko, kahit man lang isang text. [pero ipagtatanggol ko ang sarili ko, sinabi ko naman, after nga lang, bad len ):]

Ayon. Sa buong buhay ko naman never naman ako lumabasa with someone, yung kami lang. Sumama ako for the sake of friendship, that was in my part, ewan ko yun part nya kung bakit nya ako niyaya. And at some point gusto din maging malinaw ang lahat. Kasi babae ako, marunong makiramdam, para mabawasan na din un iniisip ko simula nung nagkakilala kami. Basta ayun, sumama ako nung Feb 14, 2010.

Bago ang lahat, si Dee pala ay isang kaibigan, nakilala ko sya sa church, siguro mga April 2009. Naging mabuti naman kaming kaibigan. Ang totoo nga nyan, attracted ako sa kanya noon. Pero sinurender ko yun feelings ko sa Lord kasi alam ko mali, na dapat brother in Christ ang tingin ko sa kanya. At saka, minsan kasi hindi ko din gusto yun mga kilos nya na parang sweet xa sa aming magkakaibigan na babae. E siguro sweet nga xa talaga. Sa lahat nga lang. Bakit? Para unang bumigay, yun ang ipupursue nya? Ay ayaw ko. Ayan nmn e mga predictions ko lang, likha ng makabuluhang pag-iisip ni Len. Ayun, nagkagusto at nawalan ng gusto si Len ng hindi nya nalaman. :) MAHUSAY!

Back to Feb 14. Nung nagkita kami, kinakabahan ako. Parang gusto ko magtanong kung bakit, anong meron, bakit ako, bakit hindi sila. Kaso naisip ko dapat sya un mag explain. hahaha. So tahimik lang ako.
Wala nmn kaming klaro na pinag-usapan, naguluhan pa nga ako. Not so me, he tried to hold my hands pag tumatawid,, naasiwa ako talaga. Naiinis. Pero at the back of my mind may sense of security. Confusing huh. Wala naman xa sinasabi na gusto nya ako, feeling ko nga before yun friend ko yung gusto nya, tapos ngayon hahawakan nya yun kamay ko, may akbay portion pa ha, ambilis ko talaga maglakad. Kaya pag uwi super badtrip ako kasi hindi ko inexpect na ganon. Hindi ko din alam bakit affected ako, bakit ako ngagalit, na hinawakan lng yun kamay ko, inakbayan lang ako, o anong problema ko? Pinilit kong intindihin, sinabi ko sa kanya na hindi ako natuwa sa ginawa nya. Sinabi ko sa mga kaibgan ko, may mga ibang nakaintindi kung bakit galit ako, may iba nagtataka so what?

Lumipas ang ilang buwan, marami na ang nangyari, nakagraduate na ako, nakapasa na ako sa board exam, nagtatrabaho na ako sa hospital pero wala pang sweldo, hahaha. Hindi ko sya pinayagan manligaw. Sa kabila ng mga kanta na isinulat nya para sa akin, sa mga tawag sa cellphone during review, sa pag-attempt na makita ako, na kahit nadisappoint nya ako nung unang labas namin, sa lahat. Pinili ko na huwag na ako, kahit na konti na lang papayag na ako magpaligaw. Nameet nya yung qualification ko ng hindi nya nalalaman. Sinabi ko AYAW ko kahit halfhearted ako. I guess ginusto din ng LORD, dahil kung kami talaga, kahit gaano pa katagal, magtatagpo ulit kami.

Ngayon, nabalik na sa akin un book ko, I Kissed Dating Goodbye by Joshua Harris. Naremind ako about setting high standards. Kaya pala sobrang nadisappoint ako sa holding hands at akbay portion kasi wala yun sa standard ko. Too soon yun. Not good. Pero naayos ko na yun, nasabi ko na yun sa kanya. Hindi ko din inexpect na magiging mahirap s akin sa bandang huli ang magdecision kung magpapaligaw ako o hindi. Pero mabuti ang LOrd, He decides for me, he gives me wisdom to decide.

I have decided to continue our friendship. Mahaba pa ang panahon, kung kami talaga, kami, walang makakapigil nun, magpapalakas muna kami sa LORD, kaya pa namin maghintay.

SEE YOU IN GOD'S PERFECT TIME:))

IKAW.AKO.wag munang TAYO :)

Sa lahat naman ng mararamdaman, eto yung pinakaaabangan ko, na dumating yung time na, wala na akong iniisp sa school, legal age, (pero right time ba?) RIGHT TIME BA TO FALL IN LOVE? Walang madali, mahirap lahat. Hahaha.

Kung babalikan natin ung mga patapon na storya ng mga nagustuhan ko noon, wala talagang istorya, paulit-ulit lang. Gusto ko, itinago, nalaman, di pinansin, deadma, wala. Kaibigan ko, gusto ko, inilihim, nasaktan, nagselos, wala. PARANG HINDI KRISTYANO! So lumipas ang mga panahon, as I walk my Christian life, nagbago rin yun approach ko about LOVE. Natutunan kong ipagkatiwala sa LORD yung taong para sa akin. Nakita ko kung ano yung dapat kong unahin. Nalaman ko kung sino yung dapat kong sundin at pakinggan. At higit sa lahat, natuto akong magtiwala sa LORD, na darating din ako sa stage na yun. Siguro hindi ngayon, malay mo bukas makalawa, nandyan na sya.

Not so me, natuto akong magpray sa LORD na icut nya ung feelings ko toward someone, kesehodang sya ang para sa akin o hindi, JUST CUT IT OFF! And in an instant sumasagot ang LORD sa prayers ko. Natuto ako kung paano magdecision when it comes to love. Natuto akong magsurrender sa kabila ng mapanlinlang na mundo. (naka naman!) hahaha.

Madaling sabihin na kaya mong maghintay, lalo na kung wala naman dumarating. Pero iba pala, pag may dumating, lalo na kung isa sa mga taong minsang isinurrender mo sa  LORD na icut na lang un feelings noon. I never thought na magiging ganito kahirap para sa akin ang magdecision. Hindi ko naman na talaga sya gusto, ayun ang totoo noon. Pero as he laid all his intentions to me, nagulat ako, hindi ko naman inexpect yun lahat. As in LORD, hindi ko yun pinagpray. In my surprised, I immediately say NO. Kasi feeling ko hindi pa talaga right time, nag-aaral pa ako, at nag-aaral pa sya. Hindi ko gusto na ganon and I believe hindi rin gusto ng LORD. I have my list of priorities and hindi ko priority ang commitment.

Hindi ako umasa na maghihintay sya, matapos kong sabihin na wala talagang syang pag-asa. Lumipas ang mga araw, ang mga linggo at mga buwan, exactly 9 months simula non araw na yun, hindi ko alam ngayon kung ano ang nararamdaman ko. Sobrang ang hirap pala talaga, madaling sabihin dati na madali, kasi di ko nmn talaga alam ang pakiramdam, ngayon, eto ngayon yung sitwasyon ko, hindi ko alam kung ano. hahahaha.

Basta ang alam ko, merong SYA, merong AKO, pero walang KAMI. Masaya ako kung paano ko sya kinikilala sa mga panahong ito, ayaw ko namang maging mahirap sa akin ang lahat, ayaw ko din sya mahirapan, hayaan na lang natin kumilos ang LORD, kumilos nga sya noon e, WHAT MADE YOU THINK HE WONT MOVE THIS TIME? OFCOURSE HE WILL:))

Pag natuto na ako sa LORD na magtiwala ng BUO, at magmahal ng kagaya nya, wala ng halong pagdududa, SIGE, KAMI NA! Pero ngayon, maging masaya na lang muna tayo kung anong meron, walang ligaw ligaw, CASUAL FRIENDS MUNA. OK?

God bless! <3

-LEN-

Waiting Period Comes to an End

Sabi nila eto daw yung worst part after taking the board exam. Napatanong ako kung bakit. Ay oo nga naman, after mong pagdaanan lahat ng hirap sa pagrereview, eto na ka ngayon, nahirapan ka sa board exam, hindi mo alam kung papasa ka ba or hindi. Noong time na naghihintay pa ako ng resulta, habang tumatagal pahimbing ng pahimbing ang tulog ko. Hindi dahil wala akong kaba na nararamadaman. Given na yung kaba, pero naubos na yung takot at kaba na nararamdaman ko, wala naman maiidulot sa akin yun kaya nagtiwala na lang ako sa LORD na anuman ang mangyari, maganda o hindi, it is because of a purpose.

Ibinaling ko ang atensyon ko sa ibang bagay. Ilang araw din akong babad sa computer, nakipagkita sa mga kaibigan, mga bagay na hindi ko nagawa during review. Haha. Pinagkaitan ako ng bakasyon e, kaya ayon inenjoy ko yung mga araw na naghihintay ako ng resulta. Nag-apply din ako ng trabaho, as usual call center, para naman atleast may nagawa ako during the waiting period. Hehe. Naranasan ko mainterview ng bonggang bongga sa mga callcenters, at gisahin sa sarili kong mantika sa mga walang kamatayang tanong about my course. Ayan ang mga pinaggagagawa ko while waiting for the result.

Then one time, pag online ko, mga end of July ata yun or first week of August. Yung friend ko nagchat sakin sa facebook, "August 22-25 tentative date of NLE results, Sept 20 oath taking" Biglang kumabog yun dibdib ko. As in parang sinuntok! Haha. Sabi ko, "Lord pwede ba kabahan, konti lang please?" Pero syempre hindi ko inentertain ung kaba. Hinintay ko yung date na yun. Mahimbing pa rin ang tulog ko. And faithfully waiting for the results. Sa kakaapply ko, natanggap ako for training, go na go ang lola mo, nagkumpleto pa ko ng requirements dun ha. Sept 3 Start ng training.

August 22 came, Sunday yun. Kung anu-ano na naririnig kong balita, kesyo may resulta na daw, lalabas na daw anytime, yung mga ganon. Ako hindi ko alam kung maniniwala ba ako o hindi. Sabi ko nun bago ko magtake ng board exam, hindi ako titingin ng result sa net, hintayin ko may magtxt sakin ng CONGRATULATIONS! or may tumawag sakin na bumabati na pasado ako sa board. Hindi ko natupad na hindi tumngin ng resulta sa net, simula linggo, August 22, nakaabang ako sa net, tambay ako sa nleresults.com, nagchachat ako dun, nageentertain ng anxiety ng ibang tao. I tried to lift their spirit na kung ano ang plano ng LORD paniwalaan namin. Ganon ang role ko dun. Gabi-gabi ako online, bago ko matulog check ko muna, tapos saka ko mag out pag wala pa talaga. Ah basta, mahimbing ang tulog ko, yun ang gusto ko. Isang araw sa kahimbingan ng tulog ko, 3:30am may tumawag sa akin, agad agad kong sinagot. "hello..sino toh?"....Tapos sumagot naman sya.. "Hello, si lester toh, yung textmate mo dati.." Men! Naloka ako. ang nasabi ko lang sa kanya, "Ano ba yan! Akala ko naman ibabalita mo na sa akin na pasado ako sa board exam! sinong lester?" Oh di ba? Nakakaloka naman na tunay! Haha..

Friday, August 27, nagpunta ako sa Munisipyo nun umaga para magtanong about sa NBI ko na mali ang spelling ng surname ko. Pag uwi ko, dating gawi, open ng laptop, facebook, tas nleresults.com. Magchachat sana ako, kaso ang una kong nabasa sa chatroom, "Loading na yung A, sana lahat tayo pumasa!" Kumabog muli ang dibdib ko. So nagclick agad ako sa A. Usually pagnagkiclick ako don wala nakalagay, pero this time may SURNAMES na, for real! Hindi ko alam ang gagawin ko, nagclick ako sa L to check my surname sana. Kaso pagclick ko, wala pang list, loading palang sa A. Biglang gumulo ang buhay ko. Nagchat ako sa friend ko sa FB kay john, sinabi ko sa kanya na may resulta na, at loading pa lang ang A, at ayoko tignan kasi kinabahan ako bigla. Sabi nya "sige, ako titingin," Nag-iisip pa ako kung titignan ko yung friends ko sa A. Kaso napaisip ako kasi baka makita ko sila tapos mastress ako kasi wala pa ung sakin. Kaso etong gwapong si John nagchat agad "LEN NURSE NA AKO!!" Lalo ako kinabahan. Dumating Mama ko, nakamotor, sakto, sabay sigaw ko, "MA! MAY RESULT NA! KASO WALA PANG L!". Tinignan ko yun friends ko sa A. ABALOS, pasado. Sabi ko "LORD, eto na yun matagal kong hinihingi, please.." Click ulit ako sa L. Meron na. This time ayaw ko tignan, namamanhid yung kamay ko, saka nanginginig. sobra. Sabi ko sa Mama ko ayaw ko magscroll, sya na lang tumngin. Kaso hindi din ako nakatiis, di ako kinaya ng kaba ko, hahaha. Sabay kami nagscroll pababa, at yun na! Dalawa LAGAZON, at nawindang na kami ever. Una denial pa ako, baka kasi mali yung tinitignan naming result. Haha. Nung may mga bumati lang sa akin saka lang nagsink in na, ATLAS! NURSE NA NGA AKO! THANK YOU LORD!

So iyon, NURSE na nga ako. Ang nakakatawa, hindi ako nagkaroon ng disturbed sleeping pattern, ngayong may resulta sa saka ako nahirapang matulog. Nagflashback yung mga iyak moments ko during review. At yung mga paghihirap, lahat lahat. Hahaha. Nakakatawa di ba. Ang buti talaga ng LORD. :D

God is not a man, that he should lie, nor a son of man, that he should change his mind. Does he speak and then not act? Does he promise and not fulfill? Numbers 23:19

A Week Before Actual Board

One week before board exam we were dismissed from our review center. So ano sa palagay nyo ang nararamdaman naming mga magtetake that time? Hahaha. Naloloka na kami. As in mild anxiety na ito. Hahahaha.. Ayaw ko na sana magreview nung buong isang linggo na iyon pero andami pa naming babasahin. Literal na marami. Ang kapal pa ng reviewers ko na balak ko sanang balikan ulit kasi hindi ko natapos basahin, but then I was not able to finish everything. Sumuko yung neorons ko, nagcollapse yata. Ahaha. :)

When I got home, sa hometown ko, in Tanay, I stayed in my Tito's extra room sa kabilang bahay. Plano ko na talaga mag-stay dun, para makapagconcentrate ako sa buong isang linggo before board exam. Doon lang ako sa kwarto, nagbabasa ng mga reviewer, minsan sinasamahan ako ng bunso namin pag wala sya pasok the next day. Kukunin nya din yun mga lessons nya, tapos sasabayan nya ko mag-aral. Tas pag tulog na sya, magigising yun in the middle of the night, titignan lang nya ako kasi di pa ko natutulog. Kape lang naman katapat ko para hindi antukin, pero antok talaga ang pinakamahirap kong nilabanan, SWEAR! hahaha. Pero nagfefacebook din ako noon. At nagtetxt. Limitado nga lang. 

Naalala ko sabi ng kapatid kong babae, "Ate ayaw ko pumasa ka, gusto ko mag-top ka!" At naloka ako dun. Seryoso sya, natawa nga ako e. Sabi ko dapat ipagpray nyo ko lagi para mangyari yun gusto natin. Tapos yun bunso kong kapatid, he prayed for me out loud, a short prayer from a sincere heart. Sobrang natuwa ako sa kanya non. 

One night, nagpunta si Liet sa bahay, ewan ko ba ano naisip nun at napasyalan ako. She's my high school friend na magtetake din ng board, just like me. Napag-usapan nga namin na sana board exam na para matapos na lahat ng hirap sa pagrereview at sasabog na talaga kami. Kaya nagpapasalamat ako ng sobra sa LORD kasi he equipped me with verses to hold on. Faithful un nagpromise kaya nagtiwala ako. "Therefore, my dear brothers, stand firm. Let nothing move you. Always give yourselves fully to the work of the Lord, because you know that your labor in the Lord is not in vain." 1 Corinthians 15:58. God is just and alam ko nakikita nya yung effort ng bawat isa sa pagrereview just to give glory to His name. Nakakabless tong verse na toh kasi kahit anong pagod at hirap ko sa pagrereview, secured ako that my labor in the Lord is not in vain. Basta you're doing it for the Lord walang masasayang, worth it lahat.

Two days before the actual board, may closed door review pa kami kaya nagkitakita pa kami ng super friends ko na magtetake din. Nakapagreview pa nga kami ng sabay ni Jecai one time, and natatawa kami kasi pag may tinatanong kami sa isa't isa tapos di namin alam ang sagot, pareho kami ng sinasabi, "Hindi yan lalabas sa board". Natatawa na lang kami. Hahaha.

Nung gabi before board exam, andaming nagtxt sakin, sobrang andami, people who prayed for me, who believed in me. At sorry talaga kasi hindi lahat nareplyan ko, wala ako contacts that time. Pero isa lang pumasok sa isip ko nun, malamang sa malamang, mas marami matatanggap kong text paglabas ng result, at syempre congratulations yun! hehehe. 

Board exam came. Ang aga, 6am nandun na ako sa Central Colleges of the Philippines, dun ako nag exam. Wala ako masasabi about sa dalawang araw na nagexam ako, naubos na yata ang kaba ko, pero sobrang nahirapan ako sa exam. 2 hours per set yun exam namin, 3 sets sa first day, 2 sets sa second day. Natatapos ko yung exam ng 1hour sa questionnaire tapos magseshade ako ng mga 45 minutes yata yun. Pero bago ko magshade magpepray muna ako kasi di ako sigurado sa mga sagot ko. Parang ayaw ko magshade. Haha. Tapos every after ng exam ko, lalabas ako ng room, itetext ko Mama ko, para sabihing halimaw yung board exam. Haha. Halimaw talagaaaaa!

Pag-uwi ko, ayaw ko kausapin ang mga tao about board exam, SUPPRESSION ITO! Walang magtatanong. Bawal ako kausapin about board exam. Mamamatay ang magtatanong! Hahaha. Ang lagi ko lang sagot, kung will talaga ni Lord na maipasa ko yun, papasa ako. Let's see. :)

I have done my part. Alam ko kikilos ang LORD. "The Lord will fight for you, you need only to be still." Exodus 14:14. Trust His plans. It's perfect! :)

Board Exam Preparations

Wala sa school. Wala sa review center (but Im more than grateful to Mr. Ray Gapuz, he inspired me a lot and had learned many things from him.), wala sa tao, majority nasa will ng LORD. Malaki ang naitulong sa akin ng mga verses na nagpatibay sa akin during my preparation for board exam, kaya ilalagay ko din dito para makatulong sa inyo lalo na sa mga magtetake pa lang.

Im not saying na gayahin nyo kung ano ang mga ginawa ko during my preparation for Nursing Board Exam. What I am trying to say here is kung papaano kumilos ang LORD sa buhay ko at patuloy na ginabayan ako as I go through with different issues in life lalo na nung nagtake ako ng board exam, and most especially the waiting period.

I was reading in Genesis when God spoke to me, what He said to Abraham really amazed me, "I will make you into a great nation and I will bless you; I will make your name great, and you will be a blessing." Genesis 12: 2. Sabi ko sa Lord nun time na yun, "Lord, I will make your name great through my board exam, para malaman ng mga tao na totoo ka, na ikaw lang yun reason kung bakit ako papasa sa board exam or even top the board." (e di syempre pangarap ko ring mag-top, wala namang imposible sa LORD. :D)

Less than three months kami nagreview for board exam, hindi pa kasali yung in-house review namin nung 4th year, napurga ko sa lessons namin noon. Pero sulit naman. Mas ginusto ko lumipat ng dorm near SM Manila kung saan kami nagrereview para less pagod sa byahe sa Mandaluyong. Kahit na nahirapan akong kumbinsihin ang mga magulang ko, at iniyakan ko pa sila para lang makalipat ako, salamat sa Lord at pinahitulutan din ako. Walking distance lang yun from our Review Center. Araw-araw papasok, 10:30-3:30 lang schedule nmin that time, pag-uwi sa dorm, magbibihis, mag-aaral ulit, minsan matutulog muna bago mag aral, tapos kakain, ,mag-aaral, tapos quiet time, gigising maaga para mag-aral, maliligo by 9:00am, 10:00am paalis na ng dorm. Paulit-ulit lang araw-araw kaya nauumay ako. Yaan din ang iniiyak ko sa LORD kais napapagod na ako. Paulit-ulit na lang. Pero sabi ko sa LORD, pagtyatyagaan ko toh, kahit ang hirap, matapos lang tong board exam na ito, magdiriwang ako talaga. TALAGAAAA!

Marami akong sinakripisyo makapagfocus lang sa board exam, dahil alam ko, ayun din ang gusto ng LORD. Hindi ko naman sinasabi na sobrang sipag kong mag-aral, ayan kasi yun sinasabi ng mga tao sakin, ang aking lang, pag-aaral na lang ng mabuti yung magagawa ko para maipasa ko ang board exam, i know that i have God, and i am faithful, but let us be reminded, "For as the body without the spirit is dead, so faith without works is dead also." James 2:26. Let us learn how to walk our talks! Hindi pwedeng faithful ka lang, kailangan kumilos ka din! That's what keeps me moving, na kailangan kong mag-aral ng mabuti kasi mahal na mahal ako ng LORD at ipapasa nya ko sa board exam. You won't believe me kung papaano ako nagtiwala ng bongga sa LORD. As in review pa lang Board Passer na ako! :)

Pinakamahirap kalaban sa lahat ay ang sarili mo. Yung mga thoughts na.. "Waaa..ipapasa ko ba talaga yung board? e yung exam nga sa review center di ko maipasa!" Syempre nilalabanan ko yang mga ganyang thoughts. Sabi ko sa sarili ko, wala akong karapatang kwestyunin ang kakayahan ng LORD, tao lang ako, Diyos sya, sinong may karapatan para limitahan ang kakayahan Nya? Wala di ba? So I stayed calm the best way I can. Hahaha. I learn how to trust God with His plans, His great plans. He gave me the confidence, the strength, the knowledge and the wisdom. Lahat yan kay LORD mo lang makikita, complete package! :)

Minsan nga may mga thoughts pa ako na.. "e pano pag ako lang ang bumagsak tapos lahat ng friends ko pumasa na?" Yan yung mga pilit ibinubulong sa akin ni Satan, buti na lang talaga I have God with me, kaya alam ko din kung paano sya aatakihin in return. Sabi ko kay Satan "E yung nga ibang mga board takers na unbelievers, petiks lang, ako pa ba kakabahan? E Jesus died for me." Hindi naman mananalo si Satan sa buhay natin, basta wag natin syang hahayaang ilubog ang buhay Kristyano natin. We have GOD, and HE is more than enough.

Ang masakit na katotohanan ay ang kung papaano ko iniiyak ang mga scores ko during our review. Sobrang ambaba kaya ng self-esteem ko, hindi ko ma-meet yung target score ko. Naman kasi naman, ang hirap talaga ng exams. Gusto kong hilahin ang araw para board exam na para matapos na lahat lahat lahat. NAPAPAGOD NA KASI AKO. Pero sabi sa Jeremiah 32:17, “Ah, Sovereign Lord, you have made the heavens and the earth by your great power and outstretched arm. Nothing is too hard for you." Kaya ng LORD kahit di ko na kaya! ;]

During those times, eto yung prayer ko, "Lord, kung anoman ung will mo para sa akin, tatanggapin ko, kasi alam ko ayun yun best for me. Hindi ko pagdududahan ang plano mo LORD, pero alam ko ipapasa mo ako, pero kung hindi man, tulungan mo ko LORD na tanggapin ang resulta. Basta gagawin ko yung dapat kong gawin. Ikaw na bahala LORD. In Jesus' name, AMEN"

Buhay Kolehiyala ;]

Trust in the LORD with all your heart 

       and lean not on your own understanding;

 in all your ways acknowledge him, 

       and he will make your paths straight. 

Proverb 3: 5-6

Unang tuntong ko pa lang sa college ayan na talaga ang life verse ko. Nung una mahirap para sakin na magtiwala sa Lord pagdating sa school. Sino bang hindi nangopya sa atin? Sige nga, hahanga ako talaga kung simula grade 1 hindi ka nangopya kahit isang beses. Aminado naman ako na naging gawain namin ang magkopyahan lalo na nung high school. Pero mabuti ang Lord at kaya nya tayong baguhin. Nung nagcollege na ako, pinag aralan ko na mabuti na magtiwala sa Lord, mula sa mga short quizzes hanggang sa mga major examinations. Kumikilos ang Lord sa paraan na hindi natin nakikita. Napatunayan ko yan simula ng ipagkatiwala ko sa Lord ang buong college life ko.

Hindi ako matalino, masipag siguro. Nag aaral ako sa abot ng aking makakaya. I make sure nagreview ako before sumabak sa exam. Hindi biro ang course na kinuha ko. I took up Bachelor of Science in Nursing. Nung una, mga first year of college, pag may nagtatanong sa akin, "kumusta nursing? mahirap ba?" Nakakasagot ako agad, "sakto lang, basta nagaaral ka, mabubuhay ka" Pagtuntong ko ng mga major subjects ko, ngiti na alng ang kaya kong isagot sa mga taong pilit kinakamusta ang pagaaral ko. Sa totoo lang kasi, sa Lord lang ako umaasa nun mga panahon na yon. Mahirap makipagsabayan sa mga tao sa paligid mo, kopyahan dito, kopyahan doon. Natutuwa ako sa mga taong pareho ng prinsipyo ko, na ang pangongopya ay hindi susi para makapasa, kundi ang pagtitiwala sa Lord na kaya ka nya ipasa basta gagawin mo ang parte mo. Hindi naman sya madamot, ibibigay nya kung ano ang para sa atin.

Yung mga scores natin sa exams, mababa man o mataas bahagi yan ng college life, pasasaan at malalagpasan din yan. Kung mababa, o sige, iyakan mo. Pero matuto tayong magsikap na sa susunod pagbubutihan natin. Kundi man natin naachieve yung score na gusto natin, huwag tayo malungkot kung ginawa naman natin ang best natin. Yan ang isang bagay na nagpapakalma sakin every after exam ko nung college. For as long as alam ko na ginawa ko yung part ko, ano man ang maging score ko nagpapasalamat ako sa LORD. Hindi nyo alam kung ilang gabi ang iniiyak ko sa lahat ng exams ko. Totoo! Umiiyak ako sa exams ko, iniiyak ko sa LORD lahat lalo pagnahihirapan talaga ako, kahit na ginawa ko yung part ko minsan naawa ako sa sarili ko sa score ko. Pero ang LORD lagi nya ko pinapalakas, everytime na naghihina ako. Di ba sabi nya, "That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong." 2 Corinthians 12:10

Sobra yung pasasalamat ko sa Lord sa buong buhay ko simula nung tinanggap ko sya as my Lord and Savior. Hindi ko maimagine yung buhay ko bilang estudyante ng hindi ko sya kasama. Patuloy akong magtitiwala sa Lord kahit na ano pa ang dumating sa buhay ko. Dahil naniniwala ko, ang mga bagay maganda man o hindi, nangyayari yan kasi may plano ang Lord.

As Weeks Turn Into Days

Atlas! Approximately two days from now, the NLE results will be released. Everybody's waiting for the result. I don't know with them but I am confident that God will give what I fully deserve. I have my Savior and He is enough for me to relax, forget the anxieties and just hold onto His promises.

Waiting period tested a lot of board takers these past few days. It made me realized that people will only come to God, devote their time, pray every moment when they need God the most. I felt a bit sad knowing this fact that unless a man needs something, that very one thing, he will not talk to God. Sad reality. But there's still a part of me that is thankful, in one way or the other people still believe in God. And I am grateful, because millions of people living in this world, God knows me, He knows my name. He loves me and He cares for me. Amazing! It simply amazed me!

That is one of the reasons why I keep myself under His love. I knew a lot of non-believers, they believe that they will pass or even top the board exam. Yours truly is a certified servant of a living God, saved by His blood, redeemed, and forgiven. Is there anything that will make you believe that God isn't with me? :)

This big fight of faith is for HIM alone. To God be the glory.

Turning Point

One of the best highlight of my life was the day when I celebrated my 18th Birthday. The said celebration was a dream come true for my beloved Mom. Being the eldest child (daughter and granddaughter), she has been waiting for that the day to come. I could still remember when she kept on telling me, "oh malapit ka na magdebut..ganito..ganito..blah..blah." And honestly, she was more excited than me. I swear. :)

Originally, my birthday is November 30. I have to celebrate the so called "debut" on a Saturday night, December 1. because I still have my Nutrition class that time even if my real birthday was a non-working holiday declared by President Arroyo. I made an excuse letter for my professor telling her that I have to go home one day before my birthday and i would not be able to attend her class because of the celebration. I don't like absences so I have to ask my Mom several times if that was really alright. Then my Mom told me, "Oo naman ayos lang yun, isang beses lang magdedebut ang isang tao, gasino nang i-absent mo yang isang araw mo."

My 18th birthday ended so well with my thirty minutes speech. I was indeed thankful to God that time. I was not sure on how I will deliver my message to everyone, to my friends, family, and most especially to my loving parents. I am not the expressive type of daughter. But my 18th birthday was a great way used by God to express myself to my parents. Tears kept on flowing my cheeks, emotions were overflowing, I cried so hard telling them that I got tired of giving every expectations they have on me, that they had been hurting me emotionally for questioning my faith, that they don't have to judge me as quick as they can because God is on a process of making a better person in me. But despite all those things, I was able to tell them how I truly love and treasure them as my parents, and that is PRICELESS!

And now, three years after my 18th birthday, I am turning 21, I am more than happy to tell you that God worked, is working, and will be working forever in my life in terms of my relationship with my parents. I have told them that God knows how I respect and honor them as my parents, and I will be thankful for that beyond forever.

"Honor your father and your mother, so that you may live long in the land the LORD your God is giving you." Exodus 20:12

People Pleaser No More

Making friends with people around me was not an issue and never been an issue for me. The main problem to me during those times was the eagerness in me to please them, to do things they want me to do, to satisfy every demands, and to give their expectations all for their own satisfaction.


I lived that kind of life during my senior years in high school. I did every little thing just to make people around me proud. I was afraid to commit mistake. I was so paranoid of what people might think about me if i would not be able to do what they want. I observed my words, my actions, everything. That little expectation in me ruined my life so much. It brought a lot of confusion within myself, unending demands followed me. I was in my first year of being a Christian that time. Everything was unclear. Confusing. I was in need of someone who could make me feel that I am still worthy despite of failing. And I am glad Jesus showed me that I can have that 'someone' in Him.


Jesus' unfailing and unconditional love will always be enough for me to humble myself before anyone and anything. As I dwell in His word, I realized that what people say about me will not make me any lesser, what matter most is how many times God smiled back in every humility that I showed and in every weaknesses I had wherein His strength prevails. I learned how to please God and to show boldness on what i truly believed in.

"So we make it our goal to please him, whether we are at home in the body or away from it." 2 Corinthians 5:9

As I go through the journey of my life, there are still people who will never get tired of saying bad things about me. Don't get me wrong, i love criticism, but critic me in a nice way. I am not perfect, but God is on a process of making the best out of me.
In the midst of an imperfect me, there are people who still believe in me :) Thank you! To God be the glory.

Thank you for believing in me, you don't know how you made me feel. I will make HIS name great! :)

E X P E C T A N T =)

I am now in the most difficult area of my life,  my career, i must say. I just took my board exam last July 3 and 4, 2010. I always remind myself that I should not be worried of anything. God is God and He can move mountains. Worries will not bring anything good to me. It will just bring insults to my God, that I am limiting Him for what He can do to my life.

"My journey in this life will always be with my God" -LEN

As I read from the Book of Numbers, God spoke to me through this verse:

"God is not a man, that he should lie, nor a son of man, that he should change his mind. Does he speak and then not act? Does he promise and not fulfill?" Numbers 23:19

This was a great reminder I received from God after taking the board exam. Actually there's a lot of verses that I think God wants me to hold on, but this one was different. It reminds me of who God is, how He differs from men, how faithful He is with His promises.

Sometimes, I doubt myself of my abilities, but every time I remember that God dwells in me, I TRUST MYSELF MORE LIKE HOW I TRUST IN GOD ALONE. I do not need anyone to boost my personalities, to make my surroundings optimist, GOD alone can do all those things, for with HIM, I am more than a conqueror. A warrior princess made to give glory to His name.

In few days from now, i will be receiving God's ever promise to me from the first day of my college years, and that is my LICENSE. 

In few days from now, i will be a REGISTERED NURSE, as God promised me.

In few days from now, i will be able to fulfill my promise to God that I WILL MAKE HIS NAME GREAT.

In few days from now, GOD's name will be exalted.

In few days from now, GOD is still my GOD.

ILOVEYOULORD:))

Let's have a walk

Walking our christian walk is not as easy as walking the hallway. It takes time to understand such things. It is not smooth sailing, it never was.

If we will not allow God to rule over our lives, we will not be able to see changes in our lives, and worst, we will not see God working in our lives. We are like trees planted as fruitless as it can be. Sometimes, people tend to disclaim that they have this one true God just to compromise with the pattern of this world. But it should not be, we live to give glory, to give honor, to exalt the Name of Jesus above all names.

Life is full of trials, even before i met my Savior, it was. But Jesus made my life a better turn when He rescued me and showed me His unfailing love. People might question your faith, but Jesus is enough to keep on holding on that only FAITH in HIM is what truly matters. People may doubt your abilities, but Jesus' won't. For He knows, as you continuously dwell on Him and trust His plans, you're in good hands.

No matter what life may bring, i will walk my christian walk. :))

Better Friends than Lovers

“True Love isn’t just expressed in passionately whispered words or an intimate kiss or embrace; before two people are married, love is expressed in self-control, patience even word left unsaid.” –an excerpt from I Kissed Dating Goodbye by Joshua Harris

How hard is it to put boundaries between Friendship and Love? It’s somewhat unexplainable. Friendship always comfort, Love sometimes hurts. Which do you prefer? To fall in love with a friend or to be a friend to someone you loved? It sounds the same and it hurts the same.

I have been in this kind of dilemma, and it was really tough to deal with. Especially if you have fallen for a friend and did not able to tell that friend how you really felt when you were desperately in love with him.

Do you know what the harder part is? It’s when that special friend makes you feel treasured as if the feeling is mutual. The time that you spent together will never fill the emptiness that you have inside, knowing that you cannot do anything about your feelings but to hide and keep it to yourself.

With due respect to myself, I kept that feelings for a very long time. I stand firm over my emotions and help myself to prevail more than what I perhaps can do. I don’t know how do you call that, moving on or moving away?

Every day is not just a new day for me, it’s another day of dilemma, because I know in a fact that we will be spending our time together and it will be hard for me to defy my feelings, again. But during those times, I equipped myself with prayers and I surrendered my dilemmas to God. I believed that God is willing to work it out for me.

The book of Joshua Harris was a great instrument used by God for me to redefine my feelings and reset my sentiments for that special friend. As I go through its chapters, I knew from the start that God is really at work with my sensations. I realized and understood every aspect of my difficulties, and the reasons behind those situations that I’ve been into. I find out that there should be a firm foundation of friendship before anything else. I also discovered that unless you are ready for marriage, it’s not yet the time to commit yourself to someone. Everything takes place on its perfect time.

Friendship should not be the reason to get closer to someone you perceived to be your future mate; working with them should not be out of wrong intentions and must be out of genuine love, love like what Jesus showed.

After reading the said book, I pray harder to God for His continuous guidance in terms of loving someone, it might be out of my standard but as long as it is God’s standard, it will unquestionably ideal. God knows what is best.

For now, I already examined my heart just before that special friend, and I therefore conclude that being his friend is what God wants me to carry out as of this time, because if it is God’s will, it will happen, if it is not God’s will, I know that God will give what I fully deserve.

So even if my words for that special friend left unsaid, in God’s perfect time, if he will be the one that God have saved for me, I will be more than willing to let him know how I felt before. But if not, words are really meant to be left unspoken.