How hard is it to put boundaries between Friendship and Love? It’s somewhat unexplainable. Friendship always comfort, Love sometimes hurts. Which do you prefer? To fall in love with a friend or to be a friend to someone you loved? It sounds the same and it hurts the same.
I have been in this kind of dilemma, and it was really tough to deal with. Especially if you have fallen for a friend and did not able to tell that friend how you really felt when you were desperately in love with him.
Do you know what the harder part is? It’s when that special friend makes you feel treasured as if the feeling is mutual. The time that you spent together will never fill the emptiness that you have inside, knowing that you cannot do anything about your feelings but to hide and keep it to yourself.
With due respect to myself, I kept that feelings for a very long time. I stand firm over my emotions and help myself to prevail more than what I perhaps can do. I don’t know how do you call that, moving on or moving away?
Every day is not just a new day for me, it’s another day of dilemma, because I know in a fact that we will be spending our time together and it will be hard for me to defy my feelings, again. But during those times, I equipped myself with prayers and I surrendered my dilemmas to God. I believed that God is willing to work it out for me.
The book of Joshua Harris was a great instrument used by God for me to redefine my feelings and reset my sentiments for that special friend. As I go through its chapters, I knew from the start that God is really at work with my sensations. I realized and understood every aspect of my difficulties, and the reasons behind those situations that I’ve been into. I find out that there should be a firm foundation of friendship before anything else. I also discovered that unless you are ready for marriage, it’s not yet the time to commit yourself to someone. Everything takes place on its perfect time.
Friendship should not be the reason to get closer to someone you perceived to be your future mate; working with them should not be out of wrong intentions and must be out of genuine love, love like what Jesus showed.
After reading the said book, I pray harder to God for His continuous guidance in terms of loving someone, it might be out of my standard but as long as it is God’s standard, it will unquestionably ideal. God knows what is best.
For now, I already examined my heart just before that special friend, and I therefore conclude that being his friend is what God wants me to carry out as of this time, because if it is God’s will, it will happen, if it is not God’s will, I know that God will give what I fully deserve.
So even if my words for that special friend left unsaid, in God’s perfect time, if he will be the one that God have saved for me, I will be more than willing to let him know how I felt before. But if not, words are really meant to be left unspoken.
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