Growing up, I always dream of a much like fairytale love story with of course a happy ending. Who wouldn't love that? Every girl's dream. And yes, I am also a victim of that kind of love story, an illusion of a secular love story.
My perception about love was redefined when I understood how valuable I am in God's sight. God loves me and He has a wonderful plan for my life so I have to take good care of myself in relation with others, with that, God's goodness will manifest in my life then they will find me worth loving, and worth waiting for. I keep my standards high, not to impress anyone but to guard my heart towards people who will plan to pursue me. It's my God-given wisdom to set my standards high, for I know God saved that special man for me in His own perfect time. Someone who's not perfect, but is willing to ask my hand and pursue me no matter how hard it will be.
Prayers played an important role in my life as I make major decisions in life. I always asked God if this is the right time for me to be in a relationship with someone. I am done with schooling, a Bachelor's Degree holder and a Registered Nurse, what else? Am I not that ready? I have done my part! I studied well, I obeyed my parents, I waited so long!! So can I just give myself a break? I hardened my heart for a while. I kept on insisting that maybe God wanted me to experience the feeling of being loved by someone. And yes God allowed it to happened but not exactly being in a commitment.
I felt the love that I have been looking for from someone. The feeling of being loved, cared, and missed. I just love it every time I remember that I have this special man willing to pursue me no matter what. It is unexplainable. I let this special man to court me, with my parent's permission. He visited me every week from Taguig-Tanay. We went out together, we went out with friends, we went out with family, we were happy. I was so happy. He made me smile, he made me laugh. He sang me a song. He gave me gifts. We went to church together. We remind each other about our Christian walk, about our ultimate lover. He introduced me to his sisters, my entire family knew him well. I knew him more than his name. We held hands, we hugged occasionally, but then, he is but a suitor.
I planned to finally say 'Yes' to him on the 1st of March. But unexpectedly God spoke to me in Galatians 5 during my quality time @KEPCO. I think there's still a lot of things that the Lord wants me to do before having a relationship with somebody. I still have to fulfill myself in serving Him more. So I have decided to cut our communication, from daily texting, phone calls up to messages on facebook. I also told him not to visit me for the mean time. I prayed harder to the Lord on how I am going to say these things in the midst ofour happiness and contentment. But then, God intervened and everything went well. Though its hard, I know we both understand His purpose. One thing is for sure, i am faithfully waiting for the right time to start my forever with him.
To you, i miss you! :(
