Better Friends than Lovers

“True Love isn’t just expressed in passionately whispered words or an intimate kiss or embrace; before two people are married, love is expressed in self-control, patience even word left unsaid.” –an excerpt from I Kissed Dating Goodbye by Joshua Harris

How hard is it to put boundaries between Friendship and Love? It’s somewhat unexplainable. Friendship always comfort, Love sometimes hurts. Which do you prefer? To fall in love with a friend or to be a friend to someone you loved? It sounds the same and it hurts the same.

I have been in this kind of dilemma, and it was really tough to deal with. Especially if you have fallen for a friend and did not able to tell that friend how you really felt when you were desperately in love with him.

Do you know what the harder part is? It’s when that special friend makes you feel treasured as if the feeling is mutual. The time that you spent together will never fill the emptiness that you have inside, knowing that you cannot do anything about your feelings but to hide and keep it to yourself.

With due respect to myself, I kept that feelings for a very long time. I stand firm over my emotions and help myself to prevail more than what I perhaps can do. I don’t know how do you call that, moving on or moving away?

Every day is not just a new day for me, it’s another day of dilemma, because I know in a fact that we will be spending our time together and it will be hard for me to defy my feelings, again. But during those times, I equipped myself with prayers and I surrendered my dilemmas to God. I believed that God is willing to work it out for me.

The book of Joshua Harris was a great instrument used by God for me to redefine my feelings and reset my sentiments for that special friend. As I go through its chapters, I knew from the start that God is really at work with my sensations. I realized and understood every aspect of my difficulties, and the reasons behind those situations that I’ve been into. I find out that there should be a firm foundation of friendship before anything else. I also discovered that unless you are ready for marriage, it’s not yet the time to commit yourself to someone. Everything takes place on its perfect time.

Friendship should not be the reason to get closer to someone you perceived to be your future mate; working with them should not be out of wrong intentions and must be out of genuine love, love like what Jesus showed.

After reading the said book, I pray harder to God for His continuous guidance in terms of loving someone, it might be out of my standard but as long as it is God’s standard, it will unquestionably ideal. God knows what is best.

For now, I already examined my heart just before that special friend, and I therefore conclude that being his friend is what God wants me to carry out as of this time, because if it is God’s will, it will happen, if it is not God’s will, I know that God will give what I fully deserve.

So even if my words for that special friend left unsaid, in God’s perfect time, if he will be the one that God have saved for me, I will be more than willing to let him know how I felt before. But if not, words are really meant to be left unspoken.

It is Worth The Wait

“I am doing a work of perfection in you. When I place you with your mate, you will see that all these things have taken place so I can be glorified through your lives as a couple. Your testimony belongs to me.” –an excerpt from What to do until love finds you

As I turned 19 last November 30, I realized that by this time, the following days until I attain my 20th birthday next year will be the last days of my teenage life. I am turning 20 by that time, and it supposed to be quite alarming. Why? Because the man of my life haven’t come my way yet, but since I have my faith with me, I am not alarmed nor bothered.

Looking back on my old insight, I am in doubt of my future and I could not do anything about it, but knowing who holds my future makes an immense difference. For God’s servants, victory rest with us, and it was 2000 years ago when God won it for all of us.

As what everybody says, “Hindi yan hinahanap, darating din yung taong para sayo..” And even my Mom told that to me. I know, True Love Waits, and I can patiently wait. I am not in a hurry and I do not rush things for my own sake. I remember a line from the book I Kissed Dating Goodbye by Joshua Harris, “Like fruit picked green, like a flower plucked before it blossoms, our attempt to rush God’s timing can spoil the beauty of His plans for our lives.” The simplicity of the message of this line strikes me from within. I knew people who impatiently involve themselves in a relationship even if they know from the start that they will just end up quickly. I cannot understand their point. It’s not love at all; it’s being self-centered and arrogant headed for an instant recognition. The mentality of many seems to be worldly, which makes me feel a little bit gloomy, that maybe, just maybe, all of the men have cluttered their mind with false mindset.

It’s not every day that you will meet someone that would possibly make you feel loved and cherished. Someone that will not critic the whole you but sees what’s adorable in you. If that’s the case, examine your heart, because sometimes, love makes you too blind to see what’s really God wants you to see. Our feelings should not just be the basis when we fall in love. It could be unreliable most of the time because love is unexplainable until I met my Savior and redefined it for me. It’s more than the sweet smiles that my crush has to offer, it’s more than a flower that I will be soon receiving, it’s about what Jesus did on the cross just to pay our debt and save us from the foreseen sufferings. And I know that God had prepared the man of His standard, not my standard, for me. God may be seldom early but will never be late, for His timing is perfect for those who chose to obey.

Bravo kaibigan! Let us just delight ourselves to God and let God work for that matter, let us not set standards for our future husband and wife, but let us be the standard for them to look for. It might be a long wait, but for sure, it will worth the wait.

Not With An Instant Yes

Living in the present is as rigid as dealing with people with different qualities, thoughts, beliefs, and most especially spring of faith.

Everyone longs to be loved, to be treasured and to be cared, but not everyone is auspicious to experience those yearnings. Some are not cherished by their family, some are not valued by their friends, and worst is, some are not being perceived, as if their never exist. It’s the hardest component of breathing in this planet. We do not have the gift to please people around us, we do not have the skills to catch their interest and focus it to us. We are just a minute creation who never matter to anyone but God.

Our survival in this world will never meet our anticipations to be appreciated by everyone, there will be some but not all. The contentment will never ease the pain in a glimpse. But knowing that we are undeniably chosen by God to be his precious children is enough for us to know that we must take off our eyes on the things that over-involved us in focusing ourselves toward God. Through that, our empty hearts will be filled by abundant love specified by God. His unconditional love will satisfy us as we center our eyes on God alone.

Nowadays, our young people become obstinate in dealing with their emotions, it’s never easy and it will never be, unless you let God to take control over your emotions. They seldom fail to learn by heart that God is our God and He can do impressive things more than we could envision.

These are just few reminders to my fellow young people, we should know that God is faithful and He will grant our prayers as He promised,maybe not with an instant ‘yes’, but it is not ‘no’, it’s just not now.