RE-SCUED (Again)

(Photo credits to google) 

Time had just hit me, this is the time that I felt the need of finding myself again. I knew it. I needed to understand for the second time what it meant to be saved and how salvation works in my life.

I am a young woman who received Jesus as my personal Lord and Savior 11 years ago. Little did I know that the fire in my heart is slowly dying. I am unaware to my consciousness that my life will be a mess now. No, I did not commit anything wrong or sin against my belief. I am living my life as it is still aiming to give God the glory in everything I do. But I have this empty hole in my heart that I kept on denying to myself that something is really wrong within me.

Everything looks just so perfect and beautiful in the eyes of many people surrounding me. But I feel so lonely, unloved and not okay, that's how I can describe it. I know the reason but I cannot help myself with reasons I don't know. But I am still grateful that the Lord still reminds me of his undying love for me.

I always thought that I could rebel against God. Not by doing bad things, nor by not praying. But through not reading and meditating His word consistently. I felt so distant with God. It is because I am not reading His word.

I have proven that His love for me is unconditional. He still loves me even if I don't deserve it.

I read my One-2-One booklet again, and God reminded me that what makes me distant to Him is because of sin. I know I have my shortcomings and intentionally sin against my Holy God, but I am thankful that  He did not let me dwell on that. It could be just thoughts, lustful thoughts, or actions, ungodly actions that will not bring glory to my God, but I am thankful.. He rescued me from time to time and convictions from Him never left me. I know I need help and God had been on my side from the beginning of this inner war of mine.

(Photo credits to google)

Thank you Lord for rescuing me. Thank you for redeeming me or being so lost in my purpose. I want to have myself back. I want to pick up every pieces of me that has been broken for quite so long. I want to have the fire in my heart of knowing you deeper. I want you in my life in all areas of it. I want you forever and nothing could ever change that. You are my peace. You are my hope. You are my happiness. My life will never be at its best if not all because of you. You have planned my life the way it should be and I am giving you the throne of my life once again in decision making, in all things. Lord, forgive me of my sins. Sorry for hurting you, sorry for making you jealous. Sorry for not giving my 100% self. And sorry for having a divided heart. My heart should be undivided and it should be all yours. Lord, occupied my heart and make me feel secured in your loving arms. Thank you Lord for your everlasting love!!!!! I love you forever!!! Thank you for your forgiveness. I received it.. in JESUS mighty name, AMEN! =)

(Photo credits to google)

Lovelots,
Len =)